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PIPSQUEAK’S (the Valiant)

ADVENTURE

JOURNAL!

If found, please return to the following address:

No. 4, Garden Lane, Trottingham

Ms. Potsherd OR Pipsqueak

Next page>>

List of entries:

Calendar System

Volume 1:

Pt. 1

Pt. 2

Pt. 3

Pt. 4

Pt. 5

Pt. 6

Pt. 7

Pt. 8

Pt. 9

Epilogue

Vol. 1, Complete (Single Doc)

Volume 2:

Pt. 1

Pt. 2

23rd Loyalty, Daybreak Sun

Grettings, Adventure Journal!,

Today was the first day of the school year. We were allowed to wear anything we wanted so I wore my captain’s costume, with the hat and coat and eyepatch and everything. It was really cool except that it was warm and made me sweat around the collar, so maybe that cancels out.

We have a new teacher called Miss Lucky. She has a shorter mane than Miss Buttermilk. Cracker said that it was because she was trying to look younger although she wasn’t, and then he was tole to write fifty lines of “I Shall Not Talk Behind Other’s Backs”, without magic. Maybe that’s why he was in such a bad mood after school but oh well.

For class we had maths and history. Maths was okay but history was fun, at least until Water Apple started calling me a relic and a museum escapee, whatever that means. Miss Lucky then asked me to explain to the class what my uniform was and I tole them. When I finished telling them, Miss Lucky tole the class to clap their hooves so they did. It was the first time I got clapped at by the class.

For history we learned about how Trottingham was formed. There were a lot of dates and names and the only one I can remember is Celestia because everypony knows her. There were pirates in the story though so I’m hoping that we can learn more on that.

I think this year is going to be very good. Maybe we might even have a real adventure instead of the play ones, not that they are not fun but it would be cool to find real gold and diamonds and swords instead of funny rocks and big sticks, even though they’re cool too. Just not as much.

Mummy is really happy that I’m happy. She said that my dad would be happy too but when I asked her how she could tell she just said “Nevermind”.

Maybe I might meet my dad this year. We can go out to sea together like in the pictures.

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25th Loyalty, Latemorning Sun

Greetings, Adventure Journal!,

Today Miss Lucky talked about pirates! It was cool although I think she’s not telling us everything. That’s because Cracker asked her “What did they do to mares that they caught?” And Miss Lucky replied, “Pirate things.” When Cracker wanted details Miss Lucky said “Wait till you’re older”, which is grown-up talk for I’m Not Telling You Everything Just Because. I know that because Mummy says that to me everytime I ask her about dad, but she gets all sad so I stop asking and trust her.

After school we played Captains And Pirates. We drew pictures of what our costumes looked like and we set off for the Green Seas in our ship, except that our ship was the big tree on the edge of town and the leaves were the Green Seas, so we didn’t actually go to the Green Seas, because you can’t leave for a place you’re already in. We actually found a real crow’s nest up there!!! but the crow wasn’t very happy that I was sitting in its nest so I had to leave. We didn’t find any cool-looking pebbles or big sticks but the crow’s nest made today specialer.

Cracker was sitting on the bench next to the big tree by himself, watching us, and he made a face at me when I was going home. Mummy says to ignore bullies so I did, but he said something about dad being a pirate so I asked him what he meant. He said that my dad was a pirate who did a lot of bad things. I said he wasn’t. He said he was. I said he wasn’t. He made another face at me and that’s when Red Jacket came and hit him. There was a lot of crying and shouting but I got back home, and Mummy asked me what had happened, so I tole her. And she said “Next time somepony talks about your dad, don’t listen to them at all”, because they can’t be true, and only what she says is true. Then we had a hug.

I don’t know if I like hugs. They’re icky and Cracker and some of the bigger ponies laugh at hugs. But they make Mummy happier.

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34th Loyalty, Latenoon Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Greetings is a really long word. Maybe dear is enough. It’s not like I’m showing this to Cracker so I don’t have to worry about how icky it looks.

Cracker and a few others have started to pick on us littler ponies all the time. Not in class though, but after class. They tease us and laugh when we play Sail Ship and it’s really dumb, because it makes the others not want to play, even if we have a real crow’s nest and shiny pebbles. They sort of become embarrassed.

Cherry Pip asked me “Why are the bigger ponies in our class?” and I replied “Because we have the same teacher and there’s only one classroom”. Cherry Pip then asked me why Miss Buttermilk couldn’t teach them instead. I said “I don’t know”, and “She’s probably busy with something”.

Today we moved on to government. It’s all boring names and there’s no pirates or captains in it. Instead there’s a lot of tax and settler ponies and economy, which is fancy for money. Trottingham is a small place but apparently a lot of ponies came here to trade, because it was a port. It still is, but there aren’t that many ponies. Or maybe there are. Mummy doesn’t let me go down to the docks.

Miss Lucky tole us to write an essay on our favourite part of Trottingham history. I’m writing about the captains for sure! If only Mummy would tell me more about dad then I could write a really good essay and get lots of marks, but she won’t, and I don’t want to go down to the library. The only books that they have about pirates and captains are the diaries and they’re all written in bent slippy writing that I can’t read. And there are so many of them, and I don’t know what to look for. I don’t dare to ask the librarian. He’s a crusty old coon with one bad eye, and he looks at you angry, like he wants to scold you but can’t because you haven’t done anything wrong yet.

Anyways only Red Jacket and Whistly and Track Record play with me now. Sometimes Cherry Pip joins us but Cracker calls us lovers because we both have Pip in our names, and sings the lover song everytime we play together and so I don’t want her around. I’m not sure what’s his problem. I’m just glad to have Red Jacket around. He’s almost as big as Cracker and he’s really strong. He helps his dad down at the seaweed farm, pulling nets and things. He doesn’t say much, though, but I let him be captain every now and then because he deserves it for being so nice. And I think Cracker’s scared of him since he got bucked by him last time, even if Cracker has magic and Reddie doesn’t.

Cracker said that most ships are built for unicorns, whatever that means, and that I don’t stand a chance of being on one. Dad is a pegasus and he’s still sailing, so that means Cracker is lying. When I get older, I think I’ll build the first ship meant for Earth ponies, and then I can sail and look for dad so that we can have adventures together.

I think I’ll get some books on ships from the library. Or I could ask Miss Lucky. She’s nice and she can talk to the librarian for me instead.

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9th Laughter, Daybreak Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Something very weird happened today at school. A bunch of stallions burst into the school looking for Miss Lucky even though she had left a few days ago. They looked really scary, and they all had knives, and not the small ones used for bread and butter. They began knocking down doors but they couldn’t find Miss Lucky, because she had left. They asked Miss Buttermilk where she had gone, and Miss Buttermilk said “I don’t know, she didn’t tell me”. Then they threatened to hurt Red Jacket if Miss Buttermilk didn’t say. So Miss Buttermilk said she said something about going back to her old village in Whitethorn, way up north. The stallions said that if she was lying, she’d get it bad, and then they galloped off.

Later, a whole bunch of parents came up to Miss Buttermilk because they were curious, although many of them looked more angry than curious. They went into the town hall and closed the doors, so we went to the secret spot at the back where the wall boards are looser to listen.

Miss Buttermilk said that Miss Lucky’s full name is Lucky Die, the infamous gambler. She was on the run for winning a lot, which isn’t a very good reason if you ask me. The stallions were ponies who lost a lot to her, which means they’re sore losers, and need to stand in the corner, but they have knives and are grown-ups so maybe that changes things. Anyhow, Miss Lucky (or Miss Die) went off somewhere that isn’t Whitehorn, and Miss Buttermilk lied even though she’s not supposed to. Some of the parents suggested they write a letter to the Princess (we’re supposed to use capitals, even if nopony’s looking, says Miss Lucky) and the other parents suggested that yes they should. There was a lot of grown-up talk after that so we went and played Sail Ship.

We went deeper into the forest than we usually do. We found a bunch of good strong sticks and we fought the Dangerous Leaf Ninjas on the lower boughs. Red Jacket was tall enough to hit all of them but then again so am I, almost, if I jump. Cherry Pip accidentally hit me so she had to walk the plank, for mutiny, but she cried and we felt sorry so we decided that all she had to do was mop the decks. Then she stopped crying.

When we came back out the forest, a lot of daddies and mummies were waiting for us and they started scolding us for hiding or something, even though that’s what we always do. It was really noisy, but a lot more angry, like Trading Day down at the docks. My mommy just gave me a hug so I was lucky.

Today was really interesting because we got to see an adventure!, a real one too! But it wasn’t ours, it was Miss Lucky’s. And today was a lot angrier than usual. I hope she manages to get to wherever she’s going. It should be alright though because the good ponies always win, and I’m sure Miss Lucky’s the good pony because the stallions have knives and were rude so they must be the bad ponies.

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13th Laughter, Latenoon Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Should I underline your name? It says PIPSQUEAK’S ADVENTURE JOURNAL! on the cover but I don’t think I’m supposed to include everything. I did include the ! though. I guess you don’t mind either way because you’re a book.

Today we learnt about how Trottingham’s name came to be. Some captain called Captain Chocolate was caught in a storm. He landed and trotted around the bank. After a while of walking, he realized that this wasn’t Canterlot, and that he was in a new land, so he claimed it for the Princesses and it became part of Equestria. Actually we didn’t learn how Trottingham was called Trottingham, because Miss Buttermilk talked about “summary”. But that’s okay. I’m sure the Captain had very good reasons.

More importantly, Red Jacket tole me that there are new ships coming into the harbour! He said that his dad and his friends saw them on the horizon when they were fishing. The ships didn’t have any flags on them, just plain black, so that means they could be anypony. He said that they might reach here in a day, depending on the wind. The Canterlot pegasuses are slow in coming this year, so weather is unpredictable, says Red Jacket’s dad, and a lot of bad words, says Red Jacket. I asked him how did he know that they were bad words. He said that it was common sense. I said I didn’t know what words were bad, and if stupid was a bad word. He said that it was stupid to think that stupid was a bad word. I said that it was, and that he had used it twice. We sort of got into a fight but Track Record broke it up with a stick, and said that both of us should walk the plank, because he mutinied and became the new captain. So we did. Then we joined forces and claimed Du-wal Captainship, the first ever in Equestria, and made him walk the plank.

Then we talked about cutie marks. Red Jacket’s got his, which is a net, and Whistly’s got his, which is something called a “quartet”. It’s a straight line with a head and a hook-like tail. He said he got his one day when he was practicing whistling by himself in the woods. It’s funny because he’s the only one that can and he doesn’t need to practice but he does anyways. Track Record and me don’t have ours.

Red Jacket has his because he’s working in the family business, and Whistly has his because of his name. I wonder where that leaves us. Track Record says that it could be either running or playing music with those old gramaphones, but he doesn’t like being sweaty and thinks that gramaphones are dusty old things. I’m not in a family business and I don’t like to think what my cutie mark would be if it was something to do with my name.

I want a cutie mark of captaineering, or at least sailing. That’d be good, though Mummy might not like that very much. I don’t know why, I just think so.

Mummy’s cutie mark is three pots. I don’t know what dad’s cutie mark is. The photos are too small.

Maybe I could go with Red Jacket the next time they sail, if only Mummy would let me. Then I could discover my cutie mark, because I’m really sure that it’s captaineering. Or maybe exploring.

Actually, I’m not sure what my cutie mark is going to be.

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16th Laughter, Daybreak Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

It was really rainy today, as usual. Mummy says it’s “freak weather” and I was tole to stay at home all day.

There wasn’t much to do so I played Sail Ship by myself. It wasn’t very fun. I almost fell from the tall rocking chair, the one nopony sits in, not even Mummy, so I went to see if I could help Mummy with whatever it is she was doing.

Mummy makes pots. She has a spinning wheel machine and a lot of clay at the back, and it whirs the clay around and around to let her mold it. I asked her if I could help and she said yes. She tole me to get a lump of clay and squish it up so that there wouldn’t be any lumps inside. We have a tall box to squish the clay in, so that it doesn’t fly out. So I squished clay until I got tired, and then I asked if I could mold instead and she said yes.

It was really fun, pressing the pedal that made the plate spin. Controlling the clay was a lot harder though. I pushed the sides in a lot so I had to redo and redo. I managed to get the hang of it though, and now I have my very own pot. It’s half your size, Adventure Journal!, and I use it to hold my pencil. It looks neater that way.

After that, I took out one of dad’s old journals to try and have a read. His mouthwriting is really bad, too, though, so I couldn’t make much sense out of it. He writes the dates and the weather as well, but no “Dear Journal”. Hmm.

I wonder how the black sail ship’s doing in this weather. Dad’s probably in some faraway sea so it shouldn’t effect him, right?

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17th Laughter, Rising Sun

A lot of weird stuff’s been happening around town. Even early in the day, there were a whole lot of ponies by the docks, crowded around and talking. Even Miss Buttermilk didn’t seem keen to teach, but she did anyways.

We went down together after school to have a look, when there were less grown-ups. There were still a bunch though. They were walking around with knives on their belts, almost like the bad ponies from a long while ago, but more rusty. I think they were guarding the place. They looked fierce so we didn’t push too far up ahead. We went to the far end of the docks to get a better view from the side.

Red Jacket let me get up on his back to see what was going on. It was amazing—there were bits of wood and metal all over the shores, floating about in the sea. There was even a bunch of colourful clothes, which meant that the ship was carrying valuable stuff, because only rich ponies and captains wear that sort of clothes, and you can’t have a ship full of captains. They would have fights really quickly and everypony would be walking the plank and nopony’d be left.

I tole them that it was a shipwreck. They just nodded. I guess they could see it for themselves. Whistly did that high-and-then-low whistle of his. He shouldn’t have because a couple of grown-ups saw us and came walking towards us.

“You shouldn’t be here,” said one. “This isn’t a place for foals.”

“It’s just a shipwreck,” said Red Jacket. I know he was being careful with his words, because he spoke slowly. He doesn’t usually speak slowly because he thinks it makes him look stupid.

“And you’re just foals,” said the other one.

“My father’s Marina Set,” said Red Jacket.

“Will you hark at the foal,” said the first one. “Your dad’s gone off shift. Besides, he tried to look for survivors.” Then he spat on the ground.

“There are ponies out there?” asked Whistly. “Shouldn’t we help?”

“Nopony’s to help them,” warned the second one. “They’re pirates, y’hear? Pirates! What are you, idiots?”

“Look,” said the first one. “Shut up.” Then he said to us, “These pirates are bad ponies, okay. They’re getting what’s coming to them. Don’t you know? They rob and steal and sink our ships and, er, do bad stuff to the mares. The storm came and blew their ship to shards. That’s simply justice being done.”

Then he looked at me funny and asked, “Wait, aren’t you Masty’s kid?”

I didn’t know who Masty was, so I tole him. I said that my dad was a captain but he’s been gone out to sea for a really long time.

The second one muttered something like “Good riddance”, but the first one gave him a look. Then he tole us to run along and wouldn’t stop looking at us until we did.

I went home and tole Mummy that there was a shipwreck. She asked me what colour the sail was, and I tole her. She said she wanted a moment and then sent me to my room.

I wonder who Masty is. He’s probably a bad old pirate with a wooden leg AND an eyepatch. His name sounds like Nasty. It’s pro’lly on purpose. Maybe dad beat him in an adventure. I should ask him when he gets back.

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8th Kindness, Midday Sun

Mummy said that we’re leaving Trottingham in a week. We have to pack up our things and go away. I don’t know why. I asked her and she said “It’s not safe”, “There are more and more bad ponies going about in town” and “This isn’t someplace you should grow up in”.

I don’t know what made her think that. Maybe it’s Cracker. I tole her that Red Jacket could handle him and she said “Not the ponies I’m talking about”.

I haven’t seen Red Jacket in a while, to be honest. He isn’t coming to school that often. He says that he has to work more now that his dad taught him how to row a fishing boat, to make up for losses. He says that the pirates are attacking more frequently, and that they’re getting desperate. When I asked him who was getting desperate, he said both us and the pirates. He says that they’re going after any trade ship they happen to come across, instead of just picking on the little ones, even though it’s real dangerous for them. It’s driving his dad crazy because he pays a lot of money to have his produce shipped by a well-known guild, not for the guards to turn out to be cowards that jump ship.

I tole the others about this and they said that they were sorry to see me go. Track Record’s parents, Track said, were thinking about it but hadn’t actually made any decisions. Whistly’s staying for sure, though, because he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. He’s trying to figure out what sort of job he can do with his special talent. Cherry Pip just went all quiet, and stayed on until the others left. She asked me to stay back in the forest and... oh, I really hope nopony reads this...

She asked me if I could stay, that she’d miss me a lot. I said “Is this a joke” and “How much did Cracker pay you?” She looked shocked for a moment, then ran away. I hope she’s okay. I didn’t feel good so I gave her mum the fanciest stone I had, the crystally one with a dark swirl that shows up in the sunlight, and asked her to give it to her. Perhaps that’ll work.

Come to think of it, I don’t want to leave. Wherever it is we’re going, it may not have a tree as big as the one we have. And the ponies there may not know how to play Captains And Pirates or Sail Ship. Maybe they’re all grown-ups, or bullies. But I know that there definitely won’t be Red Jacket, Whistly, Track Record and Cherry Pip (maybe Track Record though, if he’s coming with us).

Come to think of it, I have quite a few friends. That’s nice. I wish I could keep them though.

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18th Kindness, Setting Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

I’m on my first adventure! My very own, and Mummy said so too. I’m writing you on a train as I, er, write. We’re going on a long journey away to someplace new, me and Mummy. It’s what an adventure should be, except that it isn’t as fun and there’s not much fighting, only a bit of scuffling when we line up.

We’re in a crowded car, sharing the bench with two other ponies. Opposite us are four more. These ponies look like nothing I’ve seen in Trottingham before, and three are dressed in thick fur coats. I don’t know why, since it’s so warm in here. There isn’t even enough room to scratch your back, that’s how cramped it is. Mummy’s gone out for a while which is why I’ve got enough elbow room to write to you.

We’re going to a place called Ponyville, to an aunt’s place, Aunt Carrot Top’s. I’ve never met her before, but Mummy says she’s nice, and the letters she writes make Ponyville seem like a really nice place too. There are a lot of ponies my age, and the Princess’ student is there too, the Element of Magic or something like that. Wow! I wonder whether they know about the months or not, since Auntie Carrot Top says that things are more new over there, and they use numbers. Maybe their birthdays are on their own months, or something.

It’s a bit hard writing with only one hoof to steady you. That’s because I have to hold on to my ticket. Mum says that our tickets are one-way only, because we’re not going back to Trottingham for a long time. It’s a bit worrying, but maybe when I grow older, Mummy will let me go back. I can play with my friends again, and go down to the docks because I’m older, and if I’m lucky dad will be waiting there for me.

Aunt Carrot Top says that there’s a special celebration going on called Nightm—

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Mayor Mare scanned the office nervously. The bookshelf had been dusted, the potted plants watered, the floor swept and the desk unusually empty after a fresh round of organizing. The tall window that towered over the quaint town of Ponyville was spotless, and the scenery spread across at one’s hooves in the way only the highest room in Town Hall could bring. She had spent a good half-hour sweeping the long flight of stairs leading up to the office, too. Yes, everything was as it should be. First impressions were important, and even though they were on first-name terms, Celestia’s own pupil was the pony to impress.

The door swung open gently. “Mayor Mare, you—”

“Ah, Twilight! Yes, please do come in,” said Mayor Mare quickly. “Have a seat. May I offer you a drink? Some water?”

“Oh, no, I’m fine,” smiled Twilight. “What’s the matter? Bon-bon said it was important, so I dropped what I was doing and came over.”

“Right. Well, as the Ponyville librarian, you have access to the Northern registar, don’t you?” asked Mayor Mare.

“The Northern registar... that includes Trottingham, Haysville and the Whitewoods region, right? Yes I do,” answered Twilight. “I don’t read it much, though. It’s just a list of names.”

“Right. Now, do you know Pipsqueak and his mother, Potsherd?”

“Pipsqueak... yes, I met him last Nightmare Night! He’s a sweet little guy, isn’t he? Pinkie Pie calls him ‘chap’ all the time. I think it’s some Northern slang,” rambled Twilight.

“Yes, about him. Could you check the registar for his father’s name?” said Mayor Mare carefully. “It’s under the Trottingham list, if it’s still around. Just look for ‘Pipsqueak’ and search up the directory for his father.”

“Oh, you don’t need to do that,” laughed Twilight, waving a hoof. “I know what you want.”

“You do?”

“Oh, yes. You’re just curious about the father, but you’re too shy and you don’t want to ask them.” Twilight leaned forward, with the air of somepony who has read about “conspiratorial gazes” and is eager to try it out for herself. “Don’t worry, I used to be like that. But it’s okay, I’m sure they won’t mind if you just—”

“Twilight!” snapped Mayor Mare. “I mean, Miss Twilight Sparkle. I’m afraid you don’t know the gravity of the situation.”

“What situation?” trailed Twilight, looking hurt.

“That Pipsqueak is the colt of a renegade captain,” said Mayor Mare, exhaling deeply. “Or at least I think he is.” She waved a hoof irritably. “No, wait. Sit down. I’ll tell you the story.

“You see, several years ago, there was a captain called Copper Mast. He made a name for himself by fending off the pirates in the Trottingham seas from busy trade routes, in Her Royal Highness’ service. Even so, there was not much pay for sailors, and it’s a rough life. You spend weeks, even months away from home, drifting along endless sea, seeing no action for long stretches and fighting for your life the next...” Her eyes glazed over. “Whatever the reason, he turned against the marines and went rogue.”

She broke from her reverie and tried to read Twilight’s face. It was a mix of disbelief and curiosity, her mouth hanging slightly open. At least she was listening.

“It’s been said that he left behind a wife and child, sending back to them without fail six pounds of gold every fortnight. It became a legend of a sort, and that sort of legends tends to attract the wrong types of ponies.” Mayor Mare sighed. “We have it so good here, because we’re close to Canterlot. Beyond in the wilder regions, though, where the princesses’ influence is weaker...”

“So you’re saying that Pipsqueak...”

“I’ll be blunt. They may attract robbers and thieves to our quiet little community. Hence, they pose a certain threat to our town,” said Mayor Mare. “That is, of course, if they’re the family of Copper Mast.”

“If? But didn’t you just—”

“I need you to check,” said Mayor Mare, adding a wink so obvious that it made her writhe under her coat of beige. “You’re the librarian with the official chop of clarification. I have access to the registar, but the paperwork needs two signatures to be approved. Yours and mine. So you go and check, and come back to me, and tell me whether or not Pipsqueak’s descended from Copper Mast. If he isn’t, then I can sign the official papers of residency for them with a clean conscience. If they’re not, they have to go. And I want them to stay. What do you want, Twilight Sparkle?”

“I, uh...”

“Do you like them, Miss Twilight?”

“Yes, Mayor Mare.”

“Do you want them to be thrown out of Ponyville, because I am sworn and duty-bound to not allow any pony who poses a threat to enter?”

“No—”

“See? You want what I want,” sighed Mayor Mare. “Help me help them, yes?”

It was, Mayor Mare later reflected, like burping. It felt awful while it stewed inside your belly. It was not something glamorous. When it finally came to fruitition, though, there was nothing but relief. Twilight’s face suddenly lit up as realization struck. Nodding, she said, “Yes, Mayor Mare.” She smiled a painful-looking smile that barely passed off as “knowing”, and left slowly. “I’ll be sure to get right to it, and report with, er, good news!”

Mayor Mare waited for the last of the hoofsteps to die down. Watching with a gaze of steel, she waited until the lavender dot disappeared into the library. Only then did she relax a little. She took out a bottle from a drawer, followed by a pair of brilliant red dice. It was not particularly special—the one that was, she kept under the floorboards of the stage where it was safe from careless pegasi antics and Pinkie Pie—but it was comfort enough. With some difficulty, she uncorked it and poured a generous measure into the silver mug on the desk, nursing it like an old friend.

“Well, well, Pipsqueak,” muttered Mayor Mare to herself. “I wonder if you can still recognize me after so long. Hopefully not. I wonder if you’re still spelling ‘told’ wrong.”

She gave the dice a roll.

“Two fives. Hmm.”

A thought lurked in her mind. What was it? Ah, yes, the one-way ticket. She still had that somewhere in the drawer as well. Unlike most ponies, though, she had a collection of them. All going away, none turning back. The refugee’s expression of optimism.

She wondered what the summer was like in Whitethorn. Rumours said that it was so cold that it could freeze the sweat on one’s flank. Rumours did not even dare to think of what it would be like in the winter. Not accounted for also was the issue of navigating the thick forests and the mountain ranges, which had a proven record of perils... why, it was the perfect place to lose an angry mob. She would have been disappointed, nay, dismayed if Miss Buttermilk had chosen some place else to send Dicey Business and his friends.

Really, anypony could have seen those muscle-bound idiots coming from ten miles away. At least they’re determined. Have to give them points for that.

Mayor Mare was many things. She was considerably lax with her duties, which was something, considering all she had to do was paperwork. She was the amicable albeit impotent authority figure in a town directly under the gaze of the most powerful being in Equestria. She was the silent, unsung benefactor of the many refugees that sought asylum from the world beyond, a somewhat repentant sinner determined to pull as many as she could from the murky depths of Equestria’s dregs. She was, at one point, a legend herself, though fat lot that had done for her.

For now, she would be the one pulling the strings, welcoming Pipsqueak and Potsherd into a better life. She had had her share of second chances, and it was good form to pass it on. Not doing so would be stingy, and that was just asking for bad luck, something she definitely did not want.

She drained the mug and began filling out forms.

FIN.

<< Directory

This was written for the /fic/ February Write-Off. If you liked it, please follow this Fimfic account for subsequent write-offs! There’s a ton of good stuff every month, and we’d love to have you drop by and check it out.

23rd Loyalty, Daybreak Sun

Grettings, Adventure Journal!,

Today was the first day of the school year. We were allowed to wear anything we wanted so I wore my captain’s costume, with the hat and coat and eyepatch and everything. It was really cool except that it was warm and made me sweat around the collar, so maybe that cancels out.

We have a new teacher called Miss Lucky. She has a shorter mane than Miss Buttermilk. Cracker said that it was because she was trying to look younger although she wasn’t, and then he was tole to write fifty lines of “I Shall Not Talk Behind Other’s Backs”, without magic. Maybe that’s why he was in such a bad mood after school but oh well.

For class we had maths and history. Maths was okay but history was fun, at least until Water Apple started calling me a relic and a museum escapee, whatever that means. Miss Lucky then asked me to explain to the class what my uniform was and I tole them. When I finished telling them, Miss Lucky tole the class to clap their hooves so they did. It was the first time I got clapped at by the class.

For history we learned about how Trottingham was formed. There were a lot of dates and names and the only one I can remember is Celestia because everypony knows her. There were pirates in the story though so I’m hoping that we can learn more on that.

I think this year is going to be very good. Maybe we might even have a real adventure instead of the play ones, not that they are not fun but it would be cool to find real gold and diamonds and swords instead of funny rocks and big sticks, even though they’re cool too. Just not as much.

Mummy is really happy that I’m happy. She said that my dad would be happy too but when I asked her how she could tell she just said “Nevermind”.

Maybe I might meet my dad this year. We can go out to sea together like in the pictures.

25th Loyalty, Latemorning Sun

Greetings, Adventure Journal!,

Today Miss Lucky talked about pirates! It was cool although I think she’s not telling us everything. That’s because Cracker asked her “What did they do to mares that they caught?” And Miss Lucky replied, “Pirate things.” When Cracker wanted details Miss Lucky said “Wait till you’re older”, which is grown-up talk for I’m Not Telling You Everything Just Because. I know that because Mummy says that to me everytime I ask her about dad, but she gets all sad so I stop asking and trust her.

After school we played Captains And Pirates. We drew pictures of what our costumes looked like and we set off for the Green Seas in our ship, except that our ship was the big tree on the edge of town and the leaves were the Green Seas, so we didn’t actually go to the Green Seas, because you can’t leave for a place you’re already in. We actually found a real crow’s nest up there!!! but the crow wasn’t very happy that I was sitting in its nest so I had to leave. We didn’t find any cool-looking pebbles or big sticks but the crow’s nest made today specialer.

Cracker was sitting on the bench next to the big tree by himself, watching us, and he made a face at me when I was going home. Mummy says to ignore bullies so I did, but he said something about dad being a pirate so I asked him what he meant. He said that my dad was a pirate who did a lot of bad things. I said he wasn’t. He said he was. I said he wasn’t. He made another face at me and that’s when Red Jacket came and hit him. There was a lot of crying and shouting but I got back home, and Mummy asked me what had happened, so I tole her. And she said “Next time somepony talks about your dad, don’t listen to them at all”, because they can’t be true, and only what she says is true. Then we had a hug.

I don’t know if I like hugs. They’re icky and Cracker and some of the bigger ponies laugh at hugs. But they make Mummy happier.

34th Loyalty, Latenoon Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Greetings is a really long word. Maybe dear is enough. It’s not like I’m showing this to Cracker so I don’t have to worry about how icky it looks.

Cracker and a few others have started to pick on us littler ponies all the time. Not in class though, but after class. They tease us and laugh when we play Sail Ship and it’s really dumb, because it makes the others not want to play, even if we have a real crow’s nest and shiny pebbles. They sort of become embarrassed.

Cherry Pip asked me “Why are the bigger ponies in our class?” and I replied “Because we have the same teacher and there’s only one classroom”. Cherry Pip then asked me why Miss Buttermilk couldn’t teach them instead. I said “I don’t know”, and “She’s probably busy with something”.

Today we moved on to government. It’s all boring names and there’s no pirates or captains in it. Instead there’s a lot of tax and settler ponies and economy, which is fancy for money. Trottingham is a small place but apparently a lot of ponies came here to trade, because it was a port. It still is, but there aren’t that many ponies. Or maybe there are. Mummy doesn’t let me go down to the docks.

Miss Lucky tole us to write an essay on our favourite part of Trottingham history. I’m writing about the captains for sure! If only Mummy would tell me more about dad then I could write a really good essay and get lots of marks, but she won’t, and I don’t want to go down to the library. The only books that they have about pirates and captains are the diaries and they’re all written in bent slippy writing that I can’t read. And there are so many of them, and I don’t know what to look for. I don’t dare to ask the librarian. He’s a crusty old coon with one bad eye, and he looks at you angry, like he wants to scold you but can’t because you haven’t done anything wrong yet.

Anyways only Red Jacket and Whistly and Track Record play with me now. Sometimes Cherry Pip joins us but Cracker calls us lovers because we both have Pip in our names, and sings the lover song everytime we play together and so I don’t want her around. I’m not sure what’s his problem. I’m just glad to have Red Jacket around. He’s almost as big as Cracker and he’s really strong. He helps his dad down at the seaweed farm, pulling nets and things. He doesn’t say much, though, but I let him be captain every now and then because he deserves it for being so nice. And I think Cracker’s scared of him since he got bucked by him last time, even if Cracker has magic and Reddie doesn’t.

Cracker said that most ships are built for unicorns, whatever that means, and that I don’t stand a chance of being on one. Dad is a pegasus and he’s still sailing, so that means Cracker is lying. When I get older, I think I’ll build the first ship meant for Earth ponies, and then I can sail and look for dad so that we can have adventures together.

I think I’ll get some books on ships from the library. Or I could ask Miss Lucky. She’s nice and she can talk to the librarian for me instead.

9th Laughter, Daybreak Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Something very weird happened today at school. A bunch of stallions burst into the school looking for Miss Lucky even though she had left a few days ago. They looked really scary, and they all had knives, and not the small ones used for bread and butter. They began knocking down doors but they couldn’t find Miss Lucky, because she had left. They asked Miss Buttermilk where she had gone, and Miss Buttermilk said “I don’t know, she didn’t tell me”. Then they threatened to hurt Red Jacket if Miss Buttermilk didn’t say. So Miss Buttermilk said she said something about going back to her old village in Whitethorn, way up north. The stallions said that if she was lying, she’d get it bad, and then they galloped off.

Later, a whole bunch of parents came up to Miss Buttermilk because they were curious, although many of them looked more angry than curious. They went into the town hall and closed the doors, so we went to the secret spot at the back where the wall boards are looser to listen.

Miss Buttermilk said that Miss Lucky’s full name is Lucky Die, the infamous gambler. She was on the run for winning a lot, which isn’t a very good reason if you ask me. The stallions were ponies who lost a lot to her, which means they’re sore losers, and need to stand in the corner, but they have knives and are grown-ups so maybe that changes things. Anyhow, Miss Lucky (or Miss Die) went off somewhere that isn’t Whitehorn, and Miss Buttermilk lied even though she’s not supposed to. Some of the parents suggested they write a letter to the Princess (we’re supposed to use capitals, even if nopony’s looking, says Miss Lucky) and the other parents suggested that yes they should. There was a lot of grown-up talk after that so we went and played Sail Ship.

We went deeper into the forest than we usually do. We found a bunch of good strong sticks and we fought the Dangerous Leaf Ninjas on the lower boughs. Red Jacket was tall enough to hit all of them but then again so am I, almost, if I jump. Cherry Pip accidentally hit me so she had to walk the plank, for mutiny, but she cried and we felt sorry so we decided that all she had to do was mop the decks. Then she stopped crying.

When we came back out the forest, a lot of daddies and mummies were waiting for us and they started scolding us for hiding or something, even though that’s what we always do. It was really noisy, but a lot more angry, like Trading Day down at the docks. My mommy just gave me a hug so I was lucky.

Today was really interesting because we got to see an adventure!, a real one too! But it wasn’t ours, it was Miss Lucky’s. And today was a lot angrier than usual. I hope she manages to get to wherever she’s going. It should be alright though because the good ponies always win, and I’m sure Miss Lucky’s the good pony because the stallions have knives and were rude so they must be the bad ponies.

13th Laughter, Latenoon Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Should I underline your name? It says PIPSQUEAK’S ADVENTURE JOURNAL! on the cover but I don’t think I’m supposed to include everything. I did include the ! though. I guess you don’t mind either way because you’re a book.

Today we learnt about how Trottingham’s name came to be. Some captain called Captain Chocolate was caught in a storm. He landed and trotted around the bank. After a while of walking, he realized that this wasn’t Canterlot, and that he was in a new land, so he claimed it for the Princesses and it became part of Equestria. Actually we didn’t learn how Trottingham was called Trottingham, because Miss Buttermilk talked about “summary”. But that’s okay. I’m sure the Captain had very good reasons.

More importantly, Red Jacket tole me that there are new ships coming into the harbour! He said that his dad and his friends saw them on the horizon when they were fishing. The ships didn’t have any flags on them, just plain black, so that means they could be anypony. He said that they might reach here in a day, depending on the wind. The Canterlot pegasuses are slow in coming this year, so weather is unpredictable, says Red Jacket’s dad, and a lot of bad words, says Red Jacket. I asked him how did he know that they were bad words. He said that it was common sense. I said I didn’t know what words were bad, and if stupid was a bad word. He said that it was stupid to think that stupid was a bad word. I said that it was, and that he had used it twice. We sort of got into a fight but Track Record broke it up with a stick, and said that both of us should walk the plank, because he mutinied and became the new captain. So we did. Then we joined forces and claimed Du-wal Captainship, the first ever in Equestria, and made him walk the plank.

Then we talked about cutie marks. Red Jacket’s got his, which is a net, and Whistly’s got his, which is something called a “quartet”. It’s a straight line with a head and a hook-like tail. He said he got his one day when he was practicing whistling by himself in the woods. It’s funny because he’s the only one that can and he doesn’t need to practice but he does anyways. Track Record and me don’t have ours.

Red Jacket has his because he’s working in the family business, and Whistly has his because of his name. I wonder where that leaves us. Track Record says that it could be either running or playing music with those old gramaphones, but he doesn’t like being sweaty and thinks that gramaphones are dusty old things. I’m not in a family business and I don’t like to think what my cutie mark would be if it was something to do with my name.

I want a cutie mark of captaineering, or at least sailing. That’d be good, though Mummy might not like that very much. I don’t know why, I just think so.

Mummy’s cutie mark is three pots. I don’t know what dad’s cutie mark is. The photos are too small.

Maybe I could go with Red Jacket the next time they sail, if only Mummy would let me. Then I could discover my cutie mark, because I’m really sure that it’s captaineering. Or maybe exploring.

Actually, I’m not sure what my cutie mark is going to be.

16th Laughter, Daybreak Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

It was really rainy today, as usual. Mummy says it’s “freak weather” and I was tole to stay at home all day.

There wasn’t much to do so I played Sail Ship by myself. It wasn’t very fun. I almost fell from the tall rocking chair, the one nopony sits in, not even Mummy, so I went to see if I could help Mummy with whatever it is she was doing.

Mummy makes pots. She has a spinning wheel machine and a lot of clay at the back, and it whirs the clay around and around to let her mold it. I asked her if I could help and she said yes. She tole me to get a lump of clay and squish it up so that there wouldn’t be any lumps inside. We have a tall box to squish the clay in, so that it doesn’t fly out. So I squished clay until I got tired, and then I asked if I could mold instead and she said yes.

It was really fun, pressing the pedal that made the plate spin. Controlling the clay was a lot harder though. I pushed the sides in a lot so I had to redo and redo. I managed to get the hang of it though, and now I have my very own pot. It’s half your size, Adventure Journal!, and I use it to hold my pencil. It looks neater that way.

After that, I took out one of dad’s old journals to try and have a read. His mouthwriting is really bad, too, though, so I couldn’t make much sense out of it. He writes the dates and the weather as well, but no “Dear Journal”. Hmm.

I wonder how the black sail ship’s doing in this weather. Dad’s probably in some faraway sea so it shouldn’t effect him, right?

17th Laughter, Rising Sun

A lot of weird stuff’s been happening around town. Even early in the day, there were a whole lot of ponies by the docks, crowded around and talking. Even Miss Buttermilk didn’t seem keen to teach, but she did anyways.

We went down together after school to have a look, when there were less grown-ups. There were still a bunch though. They were walking around with knives on their belts, almost like the bad ponies from a long while ago, but more rusty. I think they were guarding the place. They looked fierce so we didn’t push too far up ahead. We went to the far end of the docks to get a better view from the side.

Red Jacket let me get up on his back to see what was going on. It was amazing—there were bits of wood and metal all over the shores, floating about in the sea. There was even a bunch of colourful clothes, which meant that the ship was carrying valuable stuff, because only rich ponies and captains wear that sort of clothes, and you can’t have a ship full of captains. They would have fights really quickly and everypony would be walking the plank and nopony’d be left.

I tole them that it was a shipwreck. They just nodded. I guess they could see it for themselves. Whistly did that high-and-then-low whistle of his. He shouldn’t have because a couple of grown-ups saw us and came walking towards us.

“You shouldn’t be here,” said one. “This isn’t a place for foals.”

“It’s just a shipwreck,” said Red Jacket. I know he was being careful with his words, because he spoke slowly. He doesn’t usually speak slowly because he thinks it makes him look stupid.

“And you’re just foals,” said the other one.

“My father’s Marina Set,” said Red Jacket.

“Will you hark at the foal,” said the first one. “Your dad’s gone off shift. Besides, he tried to look for survivors.” Then he spat on the ground.

“There are ponies out there?” asked Whistly. “Shouldn’t we help?”

“Nopony’s to help them,” warned the second one. “They’re pirates, y’hear? Pirates! What are you, idiots?”

“Look,” said the first one. “Shut up.” Then he said to us, “These pirates are bad ponies, okay. They’re getting what’s coming to them. Don’t you know? They rob and steal and sink our ships and, er, do bad stuff to the mares. The storm came and blew their ship to shards. That’s simply justice being done.”

Then he looked at me funny and asked, “Wait, aren’t you Masty’s kid?”

I didn’t know who Masty was, so I tole him. I said that my dad was a captain but he’s been gone out to sea for a really long time.

The second one muttered something like “Good riddance”, but the first one gave him a look. Then he tole us to run along and wouldn’t stop looking at us until we did.

I went home and tole Mummy that there was a shipwreck. She asked me what colour the sail was, and I tole her. She said she wanted a moment and then sent me to my room.

I wonder who Masty is. He’s probably a bad old pirate with a wooden leg AND an eyepatch. His name sounds like Nasty. It’s pro’lly on purpose. Maybe dad beat him in an adventure. I should ask him when he gets back.

8th Kindness, Midday Sun

Mummy said that we’re leaving Trottingham in a week. We have to pack up our things and go away. I don’t know why. I asked her and she said “It’s not safe”, “There are more and more bad ponies going about in town” and “This isn’t someplace you should grow up in”.

I don’t know what made her think that. Maybe it’s Cracker. I tole her that Red Jacket could handle him and she said “Not the ponies I’m talking about”.

I haven’t seen Red Jacket in a while, to be honest. He isn’t coming to school that often. He says that he has to work more now that his dad taught him how to row a fishing boat, to make up for losses. He says that the pirates are attacking more frequently, and that they’re getting desperate. When I asked him who was getting desperate, he said both us and the pirates. He says that they’re going after any trade ship they happen to come across, instead of just picking on the little ones, even though it’s real dangerous for them. It’s driving his dad crazy because he pays a lot of money to have his produce shipped by a well-known guild, not for the guards to turn out to be cowards that jump ship.

I tole the others about this and they said that they were sorry to see me go. Track Record’s parents, Track said, were thinking about it but hadn’t actually made any decisions. Whistly’s staying for sure, though, because he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. He’s trying to figure out what sort of job he can do with his special talent. Cherry Pip just went all quiet, and stayed on until the others left. She asked me to stay back in the forest and... oh, I really hope nopony reads this...

She asked me if I could stay, that she’d miss me a lot. I said “Is this a joke” and “How much did Cracker pay you?” She looked shocked for a moment, then ran away. I hope she’s okay. I didn’t feel good so I gave her mum the fanciest stone I had, the crystally one with a dark swirl that shows up in the sunlight, and asked her to give it to her. Perhaps that’ll work.

Come to think of it, I don’t want to leave. Wherever it is we’re going, it may not have a tree as big as the one we have. And the ponies there may not know how to play Captains And Pirates or Sail Ship. Maybe they’re all grown-ups, or bullies. But I know that there definitely won’t be Red Jacket, Whistly, Track Record and Cherry Pip (maybe Track Record though, if he’s coming with us).

Come to think of it, I have quite a few friends. That’s nice. I wish I could keep them though.

18th Kindness, Setting Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

I’m on my first adventure! My very own, and Mummy said so too. I’m writing you on a train as I, er, write. We’re going on a long journey away to someplace new, me and Mummy. It’s what an adventure should be, except that it isn’t as fun and there’s not much fighting, only a bit of scuffling when we line up.

We’re in a crowded car, sharing the bench with two other ponies. Opposite us are four more. These ponies look like nothing I’ve seen in Trottingham before, and three are dressed in thick fur coats. I don’t know why, since it’s so warm in here. There isn’t even enough room to scratch your back, that’s how cramped it is. Mummy’s gone out for a while which is why I’ve got enough elbow room to write to you.

We’re going to a place called Ponyville, to an aunt’s place, Aunt Carrot Top’s. I’ve never met her before, but Mummy says she’s nice, and the letters she writes make Ponyville seem like a really nice place too. There are a lot of ponies my age, and the Princess’ student is there too, the Element of Magic or something like that. Wow! I wonder whether they know about the months or not, since Auntie Carrot Top says that things are more new over there, and they use numbers. Maybe their birthdays are on their own months, or something.

It’s a bit hard writing with only one hoof to steady you. That’s because I have to hold on to my ticket. Mum says that our tickets are one-way only, because we’re not going back to Trottingham for a long time. It’s a bit worrying, but maybe when I grow older, Mummy will let me go back. I can play with my friends again, and go down to the docks because I’m older, and if I’m lucky dad will be waiting there for me.

Aunt Carrot Top says that there’s a special celebration going on called Nightm—

Epilogue >>

34th Kindness, Rising Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

It’s been really, really long since I last wrote you. It’s been really busy because we have to get stuff done, like buy furniture and food and tables and bedsheets and paint and clay for Mummy’s pots and this thing called sure-rence, which took the whole day at the mayor’s office. But at least that’s done and so that’s that.

Nightmare Night was really fun and I got to meet PRINCESS LUNA which was SUPER COOL! She talks like really loud and is almost black all over and her mane is wavy with stars in it. I wanted to touch it to see what it feels like but I was too scared to. Nightmare Night is scary, but it was so much fun. And there was the PRINCESS so that made it even more awesome!

Ponyville’s school is a lot different. We use different books and I have different classmates and a teacher named Miss Cheerilee. She has a cutie mark of 3 flowers because... something that I forgot. She talks about history and arithmetic and writing, but not like Miss Buttermilk, because her voice is higher. She seems more happier than Miss Buttermilk, but then again she’s younger as well, so maybe that’s the reason. Maybe old ponies get less happy. But Applebloom’s Granny is more old than the both of them and she seems happy when she’s not asleep so maybe she’s a special case. Or Miss Cheerilee is, or Miss Buttermilk. I don’t know.

Applebloom’s a really nice pony. I like Applebloom. She’s friendly and has this really big bow on her head. And she reminds me a bit of Cherry Pip but not really because they’re different colours, and Cherry Pip doesn’t talk funny or loud like Applebloom does. Actually they’re not alike at all but she still reminds me of her anyways. On the first day of school she and her friends came up to me and told (Miss Cheerilee says it’s “told”) me a lot of things about cutie marks. They called themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders and were looking for their cutie marks by trying alot of things. They asked me if I wanted to join but I said I have to ask my Mummy. When I did and I told her about what they did Mummy said “It sounds dangerous”, in that tone which really means “No”. So I didn’t join them but we are still friends. We don’t play together that much, though, because they do their crusading most of the time and Mummy said I couldn’t join.

There’s no bullies in Ponyville which is really good. Applebloom said that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were bullies but they didn’t bully me because they said they liked my ack cent, whatever that is. I don’t know. I don’t talk with them much. But then we were split into groups for reading sessions and I was paired with Dinky Doo. She isn’t very friendly. She just reads by herself all the time and hardly smiles. I did try to be nice, but we don’t have much to talk about except for homework, and I don’t think anypony likes talking about that.

Since nopony else plays with me, because they have stuff to do, I asked her if she wanted to play with me but she said no, she’s busy, and she always rushes back home when school ends. Diamond Tiara says that I shouldn’t try to hang out with her because her Mummy is funny, and it might spread. I told her that if her Mummy was funny, I’d want to meet her because funny ponies make you laugh, and there weren’t that many funny ponies back in Trottingham, only serious ones. But then Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes and said that her Mummy is funny in a bad way, and when I asked her what she meant, she just shook her head and walked off. I haven’t seen Dinky’s Mummy, or if I have, I don’t recognize her. But I’d like to.

I asked Dinky about her daddy and she wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. I did tell her that my daddy’s missing too, and that maybe we could go find our daddies together one day on an adventure. She looked like she was going to shout at me, and it was really scary. Then she said that her daddy wasn’t missing. Then I didn’t know what to say next. But I did try, and that’s what matters.

50th Kindness, Midday Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Today Diamond Tiara tole me I was rich. I tole her that I didn’t know that. Then she said that I was playing dumb, which I wasn’t, and then we got into an argument and Applebloom and her friends came in and sided with me. Diamond Tiara called them blank flanks, then Applebloom said that she was calling me names too because I was a blank flank, and so she had to stand up for me and then we all got into a fight. Eventually Miss Cheerilee heard the noise and had to break it up.

Anyhow, Miss Cheerilee asked us for our sides of the story and Diamond Tiara said that she had heard that my mother had a stash of pirate gold, enough to buy half of Ponyville. I said that I didn’t know about it and that it was a lie because it isn’t true. Then Applebloom said, “Diamond Tiara called us blank flanks again”, and Diamond Tiara said, “I only called you three blank flanks because that’s what you are.” They almost got into a fight again but Cheerilee yelled, and then everypony stopped fighting and she explained it to us. She said that the news about me being rich was just a silly rumour,  we shouldn’t believe it, and if I said that it wasn’t true then it wasn’t true because I was the member of my family, not Diamond Tiara, and a lot of other things that I can’t remember. Cheerilee says a lot of things that I can’t remember, but really I do try.

When I went home, I asked Mummy about it and she didn’t reply me directly. She said, “You don’t have to worry about anything. Don’t think about it anymore and let me handle it” and then sent me outside to go play. But I didn’t have anypony to play with so I went exploring because that’s what you do in a new town, even though I’ve been here for a while so I’m not sure whether the town still counts as new.

I went into Sugarcube Corner and Mrs Cake gave me some cake. Then Gummy (that’s Pinkie Pie’s pet alligator) followed me all over town. I think he was bored, or he wanted to play, but alligators can’t climb trees. Do alligators get bored? He just looks at me and blinks. He doesn’t say anything either, but that’s okay. I don’t think anything that lives with Pinkie Pie gets bored. She’s a nice pony but really jumpy and sometimes it hurts my eyes to look at her so I just blink a lot. There are so many ponies in Ponyville that aren’t like anypony in Trottingham. It’s more happier, and warmer, though I don’t like the heat. And there isn’t any wind or sea which is dissa disapo really bad. Because then if daddy comes to port I won’t be able to find him, and I can’t go out to sea if there’s no sea to go out to.

Why would anypony think that Mummy would have pirate gold? She’s not a pirate. Only pirates have pirate gold, and normal ponies have normal gold, and we don’t have much of that, either. Diamond Tiara is just being silly, I guess. And like Miss Cheerilee said, it’s all just a rumour.

57th Kindness, Midday Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Today was Market Day! That means a lot of ponies come from towns all over to Ponyville and open stalls, and that’s why it’s called Market Day, because there’s a big market. There were ponies from Cloudsdale selling cloud sculptures, cloud pillows and other cloud things, and Applebloom’s family had a stall selling apples. There were so many things like fruits and vegetables and cheese and toys and handicrafts and things. There wasn’t anypony from Trottingham though. I would have recognized them.

There wasn’t any school today so me and Mummy went shopping. We went and looked at all the things. There were really a lot of ponies everywhere and it was hard to walk. Luckily Mummy was close to me or I would have gotten lost.

We saw Mayor Mare alot. She looked really worried. You can figure that out with some adult ponies because they bite their lips, and walk around everywhere for no reason. Or maybe she was just hungry and nibbling on her lip instead of food. She should have bought something to eat then, unless she didn’t have any bits. Then she should have looked for a friend to share food with.

Mummy got me an ice cream and a muffin and a new pen for writing! So I’m using the new pen now and it’s larger than my old one. It’s harder to hold but writes better because it has more ink.

There were a lot of new ponies from other towns, and some of them were really big. They had a lot of muscles and didn’t look very happy. They were in a group of five and the other ponies made way for them because they were so big. I wonder if they’re bullies. How do adults deal with bullies, anyway? Because if the bullies are adults then you can’t get an adult to talk to him because they’re the same age. Maybe you get a granny or a grandfather to talk to them. I don’t have one so when I grow up and if I get into an adult fight I’ll have to borrow Applebloom’s. 

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Jmozziel LunarShadow:

How about, for commas, ditch all the rules except for the most basic ones, you know, because he's only a colt. (Use commas before buts, before some ands, and when listing. Those were the rules I had down by this age.)

59th Kindness, Evening Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

I’m on an adventure! I hope Mummy doesn’t worry about me though. I don’t think she knows.

Yesterday was the second day of Market Day. Dinky came to my house and asked if I could go with her because she didn’t have anypony else to go with. I wanted to ask about her Mummy but she might ignore me again, so I said yes instead. The stalls were all different because the owners take turns. There isn’t enough space in the town square for everypony to sell their things, or so Dinky says. Dinky knows a lot because she reads so much. So we walked but we didn’t buy anything because we didn’t have any bits. She asked me “Don’t you have a lot of gold?” and I tried to look really angry by scrunching up my eyes, and then she said she was sorry. So afterwards we sat down on a bench to rest, far away from all the noise so that our ears could rest.

That’s when the big ponies came to me and smiled. They said, “We’ve been looking for you! We’re so glad we found you” and then gave us ice cream. Dinky didn’t want hers though, and Mummy had said, “don’t take things from strangers”, and I told them so, but then they said that they were friends of daddy!!

They also said, “We’re friends with your daddy, yes, and we’re looking for you. He misses you a lot but he hasn’t been able to come home due to bad weather.” Also he sent them to look for me instead so I can visit him! But before I could follow them Dinky started pulling my hoof and said that she wanted me to walk her home. I asked her if she could walk herself home and she said no, that it wasn’t safe. She said it really loud, too. The big ponies said that they’d walk her home, and we needed to rush because the bad weather might come back and we won’t be able to find daddy!! So I said sorry to Dinky and I tried to make her let me go but she wouldn’t. So one of the big ponies did a mean thing and hit her, and she let go, and then they carried me to their wagon, which is where I am now. I was angry that he hit her, because even if she isn’t very nice, she’s still my friend. So I made him promise me that he’d say sorry.

We’ve been travelling for a day. They take turns to pull the cart, two ponies at a time, and the others gallop beside us. I get to ride in the cart with the supplies and food. We’ve been rushing a lot so I couldn’t get a good look at the land, but it’s all hills and grass and flowers anyways so I don’t think I’m missing much. And then I asked them for paper because I wanted to write you, and I brought my new pen, so here I am and here you are! I’ll have to get sticky tape or glue to stick you into my journal book though.

I’m really really excited! These ponies are going to take me to see daddy and I can see daddy!

60th Kindness, Setting Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

The big ponies don’t really like questions. They stop smiling after I ask them alot of questions. There’s a lot I want to know, like where we’re going and what town is what and are we there yet.

We eat mostly bread. It’s not the soft sort that Raisin Rack makes, or the sweet sort that Pinkie makes, or the nutty sort that Fluttershy makes. It’s dry and hard and it leaves a lot of crumbs everywhere on the cart, and Jangle, he’s my daddy’s number 2, just tells me to sweep them off. I asked him, “isn’t that littering?” And he said it was feeding the birds and worms because nopony else would feed them, and we were doing good so that was alright.

We also have apples, but they’re not as nice as Applebloom’s and they’re green and weird-shaped. Jangle calls them pears. That’s a funny name to call an apple. Applebloom told me that anything crunchy and sweet with white flesh is an apple because apples are the bestest, and Applebloom’s an expert on apples (she has “Apple” in her name after all)  and that’s how I know that Jangle is wrong. Then we have water which is okay. It’s just water.

Jangle’s a really nice pony, even if he looks really scary and is really big and when he speaks his voice is really rough and he has bad breath and his left ear is “dog-eared”, which is what I heard from a sailor once. He was talking about another sailor, I think, about fish that can bite. He asks me whether I’m alright and I tell him I’m okay, and he answers most of my questions as long as I don’t ask too much. He’s a darker red than Big Macintosh, and his mane is also pretty dark. The others are just brown with dark manes.

He tole me that daddy is really famous and has a big ship with a lot of ponies, and he’s really rich. He also tole me that I shouldn’t write so much because he doesn’t have a lot of paper. Paper is expensive and he doesn’t have much money, so I tole him that I’ll only write when interesting things happen and he said okay.

65th Kindness, Latenoon Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

We arrived at a town called Upper Hillings, which is funny because it’s at the foot of the big hill range that we have to cross to get to the port, not the top. Jangle let me walk with him to buy food. His friends went to get more water and send a letter to tell my dad where we were, just like how the old explorers sent letters back to their lords by dragonfire. I asked him, “Why can’t dragons just send us to daddy by dragonfire?” and he tole me that was a silly question. I don’t think it’s a silly question though, because then we wouldn’t have to walk every time we wanted to go to the port if it could work. I could visit him from Ponyville and bring Mummy too. He then tole me that unicorns could do that, but they were expensive. He also called them a few names that I heard before, that were bad names. Red Jacket tole me about them last time because his dad said them. I don’t know how to spell them, but even if I did, I won’t write them down. Mummy wouldn’t be happy with that.

The houses here are nice and it’s a bit like Ponyville, except there’s a lot of mountains all over. They’re big and covered in trees. And there’s no library or Sugarcube Corner, but there’s this really big busy place with a lot of shouting and laughter called Luna’s Left Hoof and I wanted to see what it was about because Princess Luna might be there and I could say hi, but Jangle said no. He had enough trouble keeping his own ponies out of there, whatever that means. It did smell funny though, so I suppose I didn’t miss out much. Princess Luna probably doesn’t like weird smells anyway, and she would be shouting the loudest out of all the shouting ponies, and that would definitely be bad for my ears. Last time took me long enough to get better.

68th Kindness, Setting Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

We arrived at a town called Greenway. I don’t know why it’s called Greenway. It’s not green. There’s a lot of rocks everywhere that are really, really, really tall, so tall that I can’t see the top of them and you only see the sun in the midday, when the sun’s in the centre of the sky. Then it gets really hot, but when the sun passes it then gets cold.

Greenway’s a funny town. There are a lot more ponies like us, with carts and carriages and cargo holders, and they’re all so big and angry-looking. And there’s a lot more stallions. Well, some of them don’t look angry, just sullen, like Diamond Tiara when she gets told off by Cheerilee. Except, well, scarier, like the stallion version of pouting, like, the regular pouting Diamond Tiara does, but with more muscles, taller, and a lot more scary-looking. 

They all wear hoods or cloaks, which makes sense because they’d be cold otherwise. Jangle got us some cloaks, but they’re icky and heavy and smell of sweat. I don’t want to wear mine until I get really cold. Another thing about the ponies is that they keep on looking everywhere like they’ve lost a bag of bits. Their eyes don’t really stay still. Jangle told me not to stare at anypony. I didn’t want to stare in the first place anyways so I didn’t.

There are a lot of stalls in Greenway. They sell a lot of colourful bottles with crinkly labels, and some sell knives and little bits of metal that you can put on your shoulders, like armour, and colourful plants that I’ve never seen before, not even in the Everfree Forest. I bet Zecora would know about those. She knows a lot about plants. Actually come to think about it, there were quite a few zebras there too, and griffons, and even a huge bear that walked on two paws. You don’t get much of them in Ponyville. Actually I haven’t ever seen a griffon or a walking bear in Ponyville, and Zecora lives outside of Ponyville, on the edge of the forest, if you want to be picky about it. I wonder why. Maybe I should ask her when I get back.

I didn’t see any colts or fillies in Greenway. That made me a bit sad. I haven’t played Sail Ship in ages, though I did play a lot of I Spy by myself, because Jangle won’t play with me.

I wonder when we’ll get there. Jangle said to not ask that question again, but I never got an answer so it’s only fair that I get to ask. I asked him to get some fruit and he said that there’s no fruit in Greenway except for raisins, because raisins keep longer. I tole him that bread was boring, and he tole me bread was bread, and if I wanted to not be hungry I would eat it, a bit like what Mummy used to say, except the next day she would always have something new, like apples or oranges or daffodils. I don’t think they grow very well around here. Apart from moss, and maybe the interesting flowers, I don’t think anything does.

5th Honesty, Daybreak Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

Now that I come to think of it, we’re travelling really fast. That’s nice because it means I can see daddy faster and I won’t have to eat only bread.

We were actually attacked by griffons!! There were five of them and they had swords, but everypony just galloped away fast, and I mean SUPER fast, even faster than Rainbow Dash, and the griffons couldn’t catch up. I asked Jangle about it and he said he had rented “seven-league boots” from Greenway. They rent the boots out because the pass is really dangerous, he said. The boots are actually just horseshoes made of green metal. I’m sure they’re super-magical though. I wanted to try them but Jangle said that they’d sever my leg from my body, and I didn’t want that so I said, “maybe not then”.

Apart from the boring bread, this is a really fun adventure, even though we ran away instead of having a super-cool fight like in the stories. I just wish my friends were here with me because it’s a bit lonely being the only foal. Even Dinky, even though she’d just read all the time. I can’t remember her face very well because she always bends over her books, but her voice is okay. It’s girly but not as girly as Sweetie Belle’s, and her writing looks nice.

I asked Jangle if he had a family. He said no. I tole him that was impossible because everypony has a daddy and Mummy, and he tole me that both were dead. Then he wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I feel sorry for him. I can’t imagine what it’s like not to have Mummy, or even daddy, because even if he’s out to sea he’s still alive and somewhere.

The nights are really cold. I have to wear the stinky cloak now. The food sack is pretty cozy because I can hide my hooves under it and it feels less cold, and you can cuddle up to the bread, even if I’m not allowed to use them as pillows.

9th Honesty, Latenoon Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

We’re at the port!! I haven’t seen the sea in a long time and it’s good to be at the port because it’s so sunny, and there’s the sea breeze and the smell of the sea and fish and seaweed and things. It’s a lot cleaner than the one in Trottingham, and there are lots of big, grand galleons as well as fishing boats and regular sailing ships. Jangle says we’ll be waiting here until we get a response from daddy. We have to wait for the signal before it’s safe to sail, because there might be pirates looking for daddy, because he’s a good captain and they’re enemies. That’s what Jangle tole me. It would’ve been boring except I got to explore, and that was really fun!

We parked our cart and went to settle in an inn, an actual inn! called The Crimson Clupea. That’s what was on the signboard, in nice big red print block, the way all signboards are written in. It was really busy with a lot of ponies and a lot of weird smells. That’s probably sweat because sailors are usually sweaty, especially in a hot inn like this one. I hope Mummy doesn’t mind. We had one like this back in Trottingham, and she tole me to never go in, ever... I can’t help it because we need somewhere to stay. I should apologize when I see her afterwards when I get back.

I miss Mummy a lot now. She cooks really well, and reads me bedtime stories sometimes, and there’s my comfy bed. The inn beds are lumpy and smell funny too, like everything else, and it creaks loudly and there’s moss. But it’s still better than the cart. I found two bits under the bed. Jangle let me keep them!

After we got settled, Jangle let me walk around the port while he did something. So I did. I went and looked at the docks and the ships at bay. There were a lot of blank-sail ships, and a few Royal ones, with the red-and-gold crest of Princess Celestia. The ships looked really nice and they probably belong to rich ponies, because their sails don’t have patches in them, and the hulls aren’t covered in barnacles and there’s shiny bits of metal all over the ships.

Then I went to the trading stalls, where there were a lot of things, just like in Trottingham but more! And all of the ponies were sailors, too. Big sailors. I was afraid I might get pushed into something, and then I’d knock it over, so I didn’t stay around there for very long. There were a lot of vases and pots and things. You know how it is. And there were ponies with ropes around their necks and legs, too. They looked really hungry and thirsty and tired. I felt really sorry for them. So I looked around, and I found a baker stall and bought a fluffy-looking bun. It looked really nice, so I bought another one. Then I took a bite out of the first one, broke the second into bits, and gave it to them. They looked really happy until something happened, and then they panicked and swallowed the bun bits and told me to shoo. That isn’t very nice of them, I thought, but then I saw this really really big pony, bigger than Jangle coming over, and he looked really mean and he made an angry face at me and I ran. Then I finished my fluffy bun. It was a nice bun. Not as good as Pinkie’s treats, but still nice.

When I went back, there was this one pony staring at me for a really long time. He was sitting in the corner by himself, with a dagger on the table and a bowl of salad. And when I came in, he was the first one I saw, and he looked at me, and as I tried to get to the inn part of the building I could see him watch me. I couldn’t see him clearly but that’s all I knew. And his eyes were red, sortta, except that it wasn’t red, but a bit more purply. 

I’m really happy that I came. I got to see the sea again, and soon I’ll be with daddy! I just wish Mummy were here, though. And maybe Dinky, just because she needs to play more and I bet that she’s never had an adventure before.